Letting Go of Arguments and Conflict
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[This is a reflection I shared recently on letting go and healing from anger, frustration and conflict.]
So you’ve had an argument, or there is an ongoing conflict with your partner or business associate. It’s like you feel hard done by on the one hand, but also, you feel you need to be prepared for the what’s coming when you next clash.
So you slip into a rambling, grumbling, almost compulsive self talk around what may or may not happen next time, or things you might possibly say or ways you could present your argument in the best possible light. And the trouble is, there’s no way to switch this off – you find yourself lost in this thought spiral as you watch your child at swimming lessons, or as you walk the dog. Previously beautiful and absorbing personal experiences are clouded and crowded out by your incessant pre-planning for potentialities that may never eventuate.
Life becomes the struggle – as though your very existence narrows to the point that you are like some lawyer constantly assembling your opening address – or your witty retorts and replies.
You might see me grinding my teeth at the traffic lights, rehearsing some ancient trauma as though coming up with an alternative ending would actually change things… It doesn’t.
It just grinds on and on and gets deeper and deeper – because there is no way of thinking out of the thought based problem – instead the way out is to feel – to intuit – to sense – to move into your body, or move down, away from your cloudlike mind and towards the stability and groundedness of your legs, or your feet even…
Walking, running, getting out of the air of thought and back into the reality and physicality of the now. Grounded.
Letting go of arguments and conflict is not resignation or defeat – it is coming back to the body, to the breath, to the simple clarity of letting concepts dissolve and finding space.
#mindfulness #lifecoach #lettinggo #sobercoaching